So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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