am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
