Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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