Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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