either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
