He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
NoShamevember. You game?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
