but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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