Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
