It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
