you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
