PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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