Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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