Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
