Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
third nipple confirmed
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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