oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We got so high we made milksteak
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Randomize
