I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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