Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
