If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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