I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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