I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?