I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Your cock deserves a montage
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?