I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize