Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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