May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
