Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
