he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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