Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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