She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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