no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
