Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
