oh god the rape fog is back!
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
