i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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