I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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