Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
