what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
