You made me cry and you don't even care
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
