Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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