That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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