There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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