You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
