Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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