Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
