i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
