Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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