i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
