you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
