Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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