OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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