he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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