when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
