whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
