Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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