Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
