i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
operation have a gay friend backfired
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You can't just leave with hair like that
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
