Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Enjoy the penises
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
