Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
