Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
